About Splatter a Hoedown

Welcome to the filthy, neon-soaked streets of Detroit, where Big Smokeout runs the most crooked, chaotic paintball league this side of 8 Mile. 💀

Grab your hopper, hop in his busted-ass lowrider, and hit the block where everybody's hustling, nobody's innocent, and everybody's got a price. Flash some counterfeit cash, lure rival contestants into the open, and splatter their asses before they know what hit 'em. If they run, snatch 'em up with a capture net and collect your bounty before the clock hits zero.

Trap houses, shady nightclubs, back-alley deals, and absolute street-level stupidity — welcome to a city where the only thing cheaper than the bait is your competition.

No bullets. No mercy. Just paint, bad decisions, and pure Detroit chaos.

Play free in your browser. Welcome to Splatter: A Hoedown.

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An abandoned Detroit auto factory at night, its brick walls and floor covered in neon paint splatters — The old auto plant after a night match

A neon Detroit street at night with a liquor store, a velvet-rope nightclub, an underground casino and a purple lowrider at the curb — Liquor stores, velvet ropes and back-room casinos

A graffiti-covered Detroit back alley with dripping lime and pink paintball splatters under string lights — Back alleys where nobody minds their business

A rooftop crew hideout with a couch, boombox and paint crates overlooking the Detroit skyline at dusk — Rooftop hideouts over the Motor City skyline

Velvet Vic, a Splatter a Hoedown character — Velvet VicRuns the Brickhouse Courts like a five-star hotel nobody asked to check into. Vic never raises his voice, never wrinkles the suit, and never forgets a face that owes him. He's got cameras on every corner and a velvet rope for everything, including the bathroom.

Slick Rico, a Splatter a Hoedown character — Slick RicoBig Smokeout's fastest runner and the only man in Detroit who can outrun his own reputation. Rico talks fast, reloads faster and takes a hit like a wet paper bag. He's got three phones, two girlfriends and zero plans past Friday.

Krystal Mess, a Splatter a Hoedown character — Krystal MessBleach-blonde, cigarette lit and heels sky-high, Krystal's been working the same corner since nine and hears everything that moves on the block. Slip her $25 and she'll tell you who's holding out. Cross her and the whole block knows by lunch.

King Chrome, a Splatter a Hoedown character — King ChromeDetroit's car-gang king and self-crowned ruler of every lowrider east of Woodward. Chrome's ride has more hydraulics than sense and his convoy rolls ten deep. Beat him in a race and he'll call it a technicality. Beat him in his own garage and he'll cry.

The game

Splatter a Hoedown mixes third-person paintball, light stealth and arcade driving with a cast of cartoon characters and a sense of humour aimed squarely at adults. It is built for the web, so it runs on the computer or phone you already have, without a download.

Fast facts

Genre: Cartoon paintball arcade, third-person action, comedy
Platform: Web browser on desktop and mobile
Modes: 9 story missions, Practice Range, online co-op (up to 4), Paint Battles (up to 6), crew battles
Price: Free to play, optional Mission Pass and packs
Audience: Adults 17+
Status: Live and in active development

Fair play

Every run, tag and battle result is checked on the server before it reaches a leaderboard. Purchases never give an advantage in Paint Battles beyond cosmetics and characters everyone can also unlock through play.