Splatter a Hoedown missions

The first 12 story missions are listed below. Each has its own timer, goal and twist, and can be replayed on Easy, Normal or Hard. Behind them are 38 more to finish the 50-mission campaign, plus 10 bonus missions in Detroit After Dark.

  1. MISSION 1 · FREE FOR EVERY PLAYER

    Clear the Block

    Tag 10 contestants before the 3-minute timer runs out.

  2. MISSION 2

    Alley Cats

    Flush contestants out of alleys and from behind dumpsters. Ambush tags from hiding score +50.

  3. MISSION 3

    Drive-By Dye Job

    Roll the lowrider through 6 glowing checkpoints and splatter 3 rival lowriders in 3 minutes.

  4. MISSION 4

    Cash Bait

    Lure contestants into the gold zone with dollars, baggies and smokes, then paint them while they're hooked.

  5. MISSION 5

    Hoedown Showdown

    A hip-hop block party: two dance crews battle by the DJ booth while the lowrider car show bounces around them. Tags during the beat-cut freeze pay double.

  6. MISSION 6

    Trap House Takeover

    Clear a dark indoor arena of 6 stealthy opponents who patrol, take cover and shoot back.

  7. MISSION 7

    Velvet Rope Raid

    Sneak into the neon Velvet Rope club, collect 10 dancer tips past the bouncers, then paint-bomb the rival boss's VIP party.

  8. MISSION 8 · UNLOCKS AFTER VELVET ROPE RAID

    Walk Home

    The club has closed and the dancers are heading home. Tag 8 before they get there; big tippers get shout-outs and double cash.

  9. MISSION 9 · DRIVING · UNLOCKS THE SIDESHOW MONTE

    Sideshow Spin

    Shut the street down for a sideshow: handbrake-drift your lowrider through 8 glowing paint gates and spin donuts for the crowd before time runs out.

  10. MISSION 10 · BOSS · UNLOCKS AFTER WALK HOME

    Clear the Biker Bar

    Chapter 1 boss: paint-sabotage 3 choppers, brawl through 6 tough bikers, take down Throttle, then escape through the gate while the gang chases you.

  11. MISSION 11 · DRIVING · UNLOCKS AFTER THE BIKER BAR

    Lowrider Hop Contest

    Chapter 2 opener: a 60-second hop-off in the hop pit. Big pumped hops, on-beat combos and air spins all score points; the highest score when the clock runs out wins.

  12. MISSION 12 · TWO STAGES · UNLOCKS AFTER THE HOP CONTEST

    Brickhouse Courts

    Westside's crew dug into the Brickhouse Courts projects. Clear the courtyard, kick in the apartments, then take out the balcony snipers and their armored leader. A checkpoint saves your progress halfway.

LOCKED · KEEP CLEARING TO UNLOCK
+48 more missions

38 more to finish the 50-mission campaign, plus 10 bonus missions in Chapter 6: Detroit After Dark. Clear missions to unlock the rest of the story: Velvet Vic's Courts, the Chrome Kings' race circuit, Foreman Grease's factory, the Ultimate Hoedown finals and a night on the town in Detroit.

Start Unlocking

Difficulty and replay value

Pick Easy, Normal or Hard before each run. Hard pays more cash and earns a skull badge the first time you clear each mission; clear them all on Hard to unlock the Skull car paint. One mission each day becomes the Daily Hard Bounty, with a shorter timer and a bonus that grows with your streak.

Practice Range

The Practice Range is a free, no-pressure lot for testing weapons, aim assist and the lowrider. Nothing you do there costs paintballs.

Missions in development

More missions, including a multi-stage Block Boss finale and Big Smokeout's Last Stand, are being built. They are not playable yet and will be announced on the Updates page when they launch.

Splatter a Hoedown

Splatter a Hoedown is a mature cartoon paintball arcade game you play free in your web browser: an open city block, a drivable lowrider, eight story missions, co-op and team paintball battles, and crews of up to 12 players.

Made for adults (17+): crude humour, cartoon bikini outfits and satirical drug references. The game has no official age rating yet.

18+ ONLY
Splatter a Hoedown has mature cartoon violence, language and adult themes.